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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought recording a short video here or there would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

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